Recovering My Voice

The Words That Shaped My Childhood

During my childhood, I often felt judged by comments my mom made about me.
Sometimes it was about how I looked, other times about how I behaved, or whether I was at the “right weight.”
Back then, emotions weren’t talked about the way they are today. There wasn’t much openness to express yourself freely. And without realizing it, those comments stayed inside me… as if they carved something deep within.

A Silent Wound

The result was silent yet powerful: I began to believe that I wasn’t worthy of being heard.
And that belief showed up in many aspects of my life.

I Began to Fade

In my youth I became quiet. I didn’t express much; I simply went along with what others wanted. But inside, something was dimming… my authenticity, my truth, my voice.

The Fear of Not Fitting In

I was afraid of judgment.
Afraid of not belonging.
Afraid of being “too much” or “not enough.”

I especially remember when I was about to get married for the first time. My mom didn’t agree, and together with my siblings, she tried to stop it. They did it the only way they knew: by giving me the silent treatment. They ignored me, treated me with indifference. And although I went on with my life at the time, today I recognize that it made me feel lonelier than ever. That indifference turned into humiliation.

When Home Isn’t a Refuge

The atmosphere at home wasn’t easy. My mom’s illness, the emotional exhaustion, the silence…
All of it made expressing myself feel dangerous. And I learned it was safer to stay quiet than to be judged.

Understanding the Origin

Today I understand something that has brought me peace: my mom didn’t do it out of malice.
She acted from her own pain, from what she had learned from her mother… and her mother before her.
It was a chain. And while I don’t justify it, I can now see the wound behind her hardness.

I Choose to Release What I No Longer Want to Carry

My siblings were loyal to her, not to me. And although that hurt, I choose to forgive. Not because it was right, but because I no longer want to carry it.

Today I Give Myself What I Once Was Denied

Today, from a new place, I give myself what I didn’t know how to receive before: love, understanding, and permission to feel.
Today I do listen to myself.
Today I do speak what I feel.
Today I acknowledge my truth and validate myself from within.

And You? Did You Stay Silent to Belong?

Was there something in your childhood that made you feel judged?
Did you also silence your voice to fit in or to avoid rejection?

Maybe today is the right time to begin reclaiming it. Not to shout it to the world.
But to whisper to yourself:

“I see you, I believe you, I hear you.”