The Day I Stopped Needing Validation… and Came Back to Myself

Sometimes, it only takes an instant, an image, a simple memory to touch the deepest fibers of our story. That’s what happened to me today, in the middle of an ordinary walk, when something as simple as seeing a little girl skating brought me back to a forgotten moment…
A moment when, without realizing it, I stopped seeing myself and began living outward.

This morning, while walking with Kelev —my dog—, the image of that little girl unleashed a chain of memories I had kept stored away. I saw myself, years ago, at the very stage when I began to stop validating myself. When I shifted from looking within to seeking approval outside, in the eyes and words of others.

I remembered how, in the midst of my parents’ busyness —their business, their health issues— I slowly faded into the background. That gaze that once acknowledged me was no longer there, and in its place a feeling of loneliness began to grow.

I played alone, spent afternoons by myself… and tried to fill those empty spaces by throwing myself into activities: swimming, flamenco lessons, piano.
But something inside me began to change. Without realizing it, I started to believe that other people’s lives were better than mine. That they had more united families, more beautiful stories, happier moments.

That’s where it all began.
The moment I stopped looking at myself first.

First it was my friends, then my children, then my partner… Always others.
And little by little, I began to dissolve.
I stopped being my own priority.
My attention no longer rested on me, and behind that was an emptiness I didn’t want to face… because it hurt.

Today, however, when life brings back a fragment of my story, I no longer place others in the scene.
I place myself there.
I see myself. I validate myself. I recognize myself.
And that gaze… is medicine.

It’s like waking up from a spell you’ve been trapped in for years.

Today I understand that it was always me who had to inhabit myself.
Yes… many times we carry sadness, wounds, or circumstances that weren’t in our hands.
But when we look at them with awareness, life gifts us wisdom and learning.

The past is not a place to stay.
It is a place to understand, to heal, to transform.

Today I respect myself. I love myself. I validate myself.
Today I am my own refuge.
And that… makes all the difference.

That’s why today I want to invite you, the one reading these words:

See yourself. Validate yourself. Inhabit yourself.

Remember who you are.
Honor your story.
Yes, there will be moments of sadness or wounds you didn’t choose… but everything can be transformed into wisdom.

Don’t stay anchored to the past.
Transmute it.
And begin giving yourself the love, respect, and validation you’ve long awaited.

I encourage you to keep going… to keep going toward yourself.