What Your Children Need Most Is You — Present

When I was a little girl, I didn’t ask for big things. What I wanted most was for my parents to be with me: watching TV together, commenting on a movie, laughing at a show. I especially remember The Cosby Show —my mom and I would sit together, talk about every scene, and dive into the characters. In those simple moments, I felt connection, belonging, and love.

Over the years I understood that presence carries a silent power: it doesn’t make noise, but it builds bonds that sustain an entire life.

1) The most valuable gift: unhurried attention

Today, more than ever, we live with a divided mind. We do one thing while thinking of three others. But presence is not just being physically next to someone: it’s being there with your whole soul.

What it is: looking into the eyes, listening without interrupting, noticing tone, gestures, silences.
What it’s not: holding the phone in your hand, nodding without listening, “being together” while thinking of to-dos.

Presence is telling the other person with your body and your attention: “You are important to me.”

2) What I needed as a child (and maybe what your child needs today)

As a little girl, I longed for simple responses: “sit with me, share this moment.” I often wondered why adults couldn’t see it. Today I understand it wasn’t a lack of love, but a lack of awareness and the rush of life.

Lesson: Connection doesn’t require perfect plans, only real moments.
Translation into practice: Ten minutes of full presence are worth more than an entire distracted afternoon.

3) The tension between productivity and presence

With my youngest daughter, I live a paradox: I love creating—preparing classes, advancing my podcast—yet what matters most to her is that I’m there. Sometimes it’s hard to let go of the urge to “make the most of time.”

Reframe: Being with her is also creating—we’re creating memories, safety, and love.

Micro-tool: Before starting, take 3 breaths and say to yourself: “Right now, this is what matters.”

4) Entering their world (even if it’s not yours)

There will be things they get excited about that don’t interest you as much. But when you choose to step into their world, doors open.

Try this: “Show me why you like it.” “What’s your favorite part?” “If this were a movie scene, what would happen next?”

Result: They feel seen. And being seen is a profound form of love.

5) The best gift: time + attention

It’s not about quantity, it’s about quality.

5 micro-rituals that transform:

• 10 daily minutes face-to-face, no screens.

• A short walk to chat without pressure.

• Home movie ritual: you pick today, I pick tomorrow; always with laughter and commentary.

• The golden question: “What do you need from me today: to listen, to advise, or just to be here?”

• End of day ritual: a 20-second hug and “thank you for…”.

6) What remains are not things, but moments

Over time, memory holds on to scenes: that laugh, that comment, that “I’m here.”

One idea: The Snapshot of the Moment. A quick selfie after every shared plan. Not for the pose, but for the memory.

7) A loving invitation

If being present feels hard today because of endless tasks, I get it. Start small: 10 real minutes. Everything else can wait; the heart sometimes cannot.

Presence means loving in real time.

Mini-guide: 15 minutes of conscious presence

• Breathe (1 min): Inhale for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat 3 cycles.

• Screens away (30 sec): Airplane mode or leave the phone in another room.

• Connect (10 min): Eye contact, open questions, active listening.

• Close (3 min): “What was the best part of this time for you?” + hug.

Journaling questions (for you)

• What was the simplest way I felt loved as a child?

• What moment of real presence can I offer today? When and how?

• What task can I let go of without guilt to be present right now?

Daily affirmation

“My presence is love in action. Today, I choose to be here.”

Bring it into your life today

Choose one of these three actions and do it today:

• Say yes to 10 minutes of connection without screens.

• Send a message: “I want to spend time with you. Shall we watch something together and you tell me why you like it?”

• Give an intentional hug.