When Indifference Hurts… and Heals

When Indifference Hurts… and Heals

Introduction
Sometimes we believe certain attitudes just “happen,” or that they’re part of everyday life… until we realize that behind them lie wounds we never dared to look at.
Today I want to share a personal story, because maybe—just like me—you’ve felt ignored or invisible… and without realizing it, that awakens something much deeper.
I invite you to read and perhaps recognize yourself in these lines.

The Little Girl Who Wanted to Be Heard

When I was a child, I felt like I had to make an effort to be heard by my family. My siblings, who were 9 and 13 years older than me, were already grown, and I was left as the youngest—the one who was rarely taken into account.
Over time, without realizing it, I began showing indifference toward certain people.

In middle school, for example, there were teachers that other girls tried to impress… and I simply appeared cold or distant toward them. If they ignored me, I did the same.

Life’s Mirrors

Today, when I look at my life with more awareness, I see how the people closest to us—especially my youngest daughter—become mirrors of what we need to heal.

By observing her, I understood something I had never seen before: when she ignores me, for any reason, an old wound awakens within me… the wound of not being seen.

That moment took me back to a memory of my mom. At some point, she confessed that she too had felt the same way with me.
And then I saw it clearly: the pattern had repeated itself.

The Wound Behind Indifference

Indifference is not just a superficial gesture.
It is a symptom of a deep wound that was never acknowledged.

When someone ignores us, it’s not only the present that hurts… it opens the memory of the past.
It awakens that child who once spoke with excitement and was silenced.
Who shared her opinion with shining eyes… and was ignored.
And she unconsciously learned: “What I say doesn’t matter.”

That’s why, when someone ignores us today, it isn’t just “that person” doing it… it’s as if life were repeating what once hurt before.

Hurting First… So It Won’t Hurt as Much?

For a long time, my reaction was to attack first.
“If you don’t see me, I’ll hurt you before… that way it hurts less.”

But beneath that defense, there was never malice.
There was only a little girl who longed to be recognized, validated, accepted.

Healing Begins by Looking Within

The day I spoke to my daughter—from the heart—and shared how I felt, something shifted.
By opening up and bringing that wound to light, what had been hidden came to the surface, and it no longer stood in our way.

Today, my mom is no longer here—it’s been 25 years since she left this world—but by healing with my daughter, I felt I was also healing my story with her.

Because healing travels backward… and forward.
And it always begins with us.

Final Reflection

What if the next time someone ignores you… you choose to look within before reacting?

Maybe there you’ll find not only the wound… but also the path to heal it.
When we become conscious, the pattern stops repeating itself.
Healing is choosing to see ourselves… and to see others with an open heart.